fl3urs

Month: September, 2013

12 Things That Show You Who You Really Are

by Kimverlyn

Thought Catalog

1. What your ugly looks like.

There are few times in our lives we are uglier than fresh after heartbreak, so that’s a good place to start. We’re reeling and hysterical and compromising every conversation with the news of our failed romance. We are selfish and pathetic and quite possibly the worst version of ourselves. Watch yourself when you’re at your ugliest. Understanding who you are isn’t all about noting all of your positive qualities, although that is important too. You have to understand yourself as a whole person, the good, the bad, the ugly. 

2. What you do when you’re upset.

Do you quietly calm yourself without telling anybody? Do you take it out on other people? Do you act out physically or violently? These are all signs of what’s brewing underneath your surface, or more so, your grasp on self control.

3. How you treat others who can…

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My Home Is Your Body

by Kimverlyn

Thought Catalog

Well, that’s not entirely true. I know that part of me is still in Barcelona, where I touched another body and my parents couldn’t say anything about it. It was the first time I felt like I was a real person who had a future that she could decide for herself, and it was too important not to take a little something with it when I left. I made a lot of mistakes that summer, but they were all my own. And that is the only other time I really remember feeling the same way I do when I am around you.

It’s that feeling of weightlessness, that feeling that anything is possible. I know that you are bad for me in the way bad food or excessive alcohol is, and yet, every time you call me, there is something about you which draws me to lie down next to…

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When You Are The Practice Girlfriend

by Kimverlyn

Thought Catalog

My ex got engaged this weekend. I guess I should have seen it coming.

Somehow, though, it still felt like a slap in the face. After all this time. After I had gotten over the initial sting of seeing him happy with someone else. For so long, I told myself that things could never work out with her, because there was some key ingredient that the two of them did not have together — something which I had kept with me when he left. It was only a matter of time, I thought, until they would break apart.

And then it became clear that they weren’t going to break up, at least not in the satisfying, immediate way I thought they would.

And then they got engaged.

And here I am.

My friend called me to ask if I had seen the news on Facebook, the hundreds of people congratulating…

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You Say You Don’t Want A Boyfriend, But You Know That’s Not True

by Kimverlyn

Thought Catalog

I know; I say the same thing. I write about it on my personal blog — the one where people I really know can read me and maybe talk amongst each other about how strong I am. It’s kind of odd how many of my posts over the last few months have been so intensely anti-man. I wonder what it must look like to someone who has never met me. For a few weeks, I thought I would get “misandry” tattooed on my wrist. But I would probably get fired from my job.

“Boys are disgusting.” “I don’t want to put up with yet another manchild’s belated coming-of-age that he has vicariously through me.” Then a bunch of Sylvia Plath quotes. I don’t know, it’s all kind of a mess.

I say that I am working on myself right now, and I am. My job is pretty good, and I…

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Zadie Smith On Joy Vs. Pleasure

by Kimverlyn

Thought Catalog

In “Joy” Zadie Smith discusses the difference between pleasure and joy. According to her, pleasure is just that—nothing more, nothing less. It is straightforward and therefore usually involves something rather trivial. A candy bar, for example, might bring someone pleasure because it’s uncomplicated and induces instant gratification. But it’s also primitive in nature.

A relationship, on the other hand, isn’t that simple, and therefore cannot be associated with easy pleasure but with joy, which Zadie calls “that mixture of terror, pain, and delight,” which she “find some way to live with daily.”

I guess one way of distinguishing joy from the rest of your emotions is by detecting that acute sensation of dread—dread that this joy will not last, or dread of the inevitable death of us all, which will halt this ecstatic sensation. For me, that feeling also defines love. I known I’m truly in love with…

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30 Quotes That Will Rip Apart The Way You See Your Life

by Kimverlyn

Thought Catalog

“To let go means to give up coercing, resisting, or struggling, in exchange for something more powerful and wholesome which comes out of allowing things to be as they are without getting caught up in your attraction to or rejection of them, in the intrinsic stickiness of wanting, of liking and disliking.” ― Jon Kabat-Zinn
“Life is, in fact, a battle. Evil is insolent and strong; beauty enchanting, but rare; goodness very apt to be weak; folly very apt to be defiant; wickedness to carry the day; imbeciles to be in great places, people of sense in small, and mankind generally unhappy. But the world as it stands is no narrow illusion, no phantasm, no evil dream of the night; we wake up to it, forever and ever; and we can neither forget it nor deny it nor dispense with it.” ― Henry James
“Love opens the doors into everything, as far…

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The 15 Most Attractive Things Boys Do

by Kimverlyn

Thought Catalog

1. When they say something unexpectedly sweet that’s not cliche or a ploy to get you in bed. Something that is so honest it makes them a little nervous to say and that’s what makes it mean so much.

2. When they pull you over to lay on them, and your head fits in that little alcove between their chest and shoulder and they have that boy smell of cologne or whatever other majestic things they use– after shave? I don’t even know what that is but I usually don’t question.

3. Acts of classic chivalry, like not just asking if you’re cold and need a coat, but just taking it off and putting it around you. It makes it seem like they really want to give it to you, not just look courteous by asking.

4. Defying gender norms. Also male feminists are pretty up there on the attractiveness…

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Distance: The Ultimate Heartbreaker

by Kimverlyn

Thought Catalog

You hear all these stories about young love. About how it burns bright and fast, like fire. It starts with all its might, turning yellow and orange, red and blue at the center. Yet the same quick way it starts it ends. I know what they say about young love. That it never lasts, that it’s just the first of many. But what when the ending is not by choice, but need, because distance gets in the way and we’re too young to realize that maybe this was supposed to be it. Maybe we’re too scared to admit that we wanted nothing but each other. And then friends’ opinions get in the way, or the thought of what “the right thing” to do is stops us from doing what we really want to do.

I said goodbye to my boyfriend last night because like many others, he’s going abroad for…

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