fl3urs

Month: July, 2013

5 Steps To Stop Worrying What People Think Of You

by Kimverlyn

Thought Catalog

On my seventh night in New York City I ended up, almost accidentally, living out a fantasy of mine — mingling with writers and photographers, in an expensive Upper West Side apartment with floor-to-ceiling windows, drinking a hundred-dollar bottle of wine.

Some details were different, however. A rainbow of throw pillows covered half the main room and the woman I was talking to was naked and I was in my underwear.

It was my first, and so far only, naked party, and it was the beginning of the end of a thirty-year era of rather severe self-consciousness. I’d always had a burning fear of the judgments of others. In particular, I couldn’t bear the thought of someone else seeing me as bad or wrong. I just couldn’t let it happen, and unconsciously designed a life that minimized that risk, which means it minimized interactions with other people.

This self consciousness…

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10 Things You Learn From A Broken Heart

by Kimverlyn

Thought Catalog

1. You need your friends.

Who else is going to listen to you go on for hours on the phone about how much you don’t actually care at all when it literally could not be more clear how much you care? Who else is going to take you out drinking and dancing and flirting and remind you consistently how much of a loser your ex was and how much better off you are now? Who else is going to make you remember that you are actually still an awesome person with so much to offer outside of a romantic relationship — someone worth knowing, worth laughing with, worth giving time and love? Thank god for friends.

2. You aren’t perfect, and neither are they.

It’s so easy to feel, when in the heady, dizzying heights of a good relationship that you are both these infallible, god-like beings who are just

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How We Let People Go

by Kimverlyn

Thought Catalog

There is a specific feeling which exists only when you run into someone you had long forgotten about. It’s probably most palpable when it’s an ex, but it can happen with friends who were once particularly close. It is comparable to a scab that seems to have been on your skin forever — a scrape which was once quite painful but has been so long in the healing process that you no longer notice its presence when you wash over it in the shower. You peel it off almost out of boredom and suddenly there is a drop or two of blood, something that vaguely resembles the wound it once was, now too distant to really cause any discomfort. These people are wounds which have healed over, which have never quite turned into scars but which have become just another part of your lived-in body.

Letting someone go — when…

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Inconvenient Truths About Love

by Kimverlyn

Thought Catalog

There is no foolproof way to handle love. There’s no comprehensive how-to guide, no universal relationship manual despite the overabundance of relationship manuals. All the mantras and philosophies are basically just suggestions, things that have statistically, occasionally, worked for other people. People can impart good insight but no one can singlehandedly puzzle out you and your partner’s unique brand of insanity. It’s a long road you essentially travel alone so you might as well hold hands.

Young love has nothing to do with age, though it is typically attributed to teenagers because adults are presumed to know better. But they don’t. We don’t. Young love is consumption, the one thing at the forefront of your mind, the singular essence that electrifies your blood flow and the cloud of flies that obscures the sun. This is a thing that happens and even though we’re less susceptible, we’re not immune.

Young love…

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A Checklist For Being In A Long Distance Relationship

by Thought Catalog

Thought Catalog

1. Revel in the fact that, at last, you can watch RuPaul’s Drag Race INSTEAD of whatever else they want to watch on Monday nights. Hallelu!

2. Masturbate freely without feeling one ounce of guilt. Leisurely close those 25 tabs of shame because you’re not worried she/he will be home any second and discover you in the middle of the act.

3. Talk about how long the distance will last in advance. It’s easier to go through with a long distance relationship if both parties know when the distance will end. A light at the end of the tunnel.

4. Have video chats on Skype. Text each other “Hey, I love you + I’m thinking about you” D and V pics — but ONLY if that’s something you guys usually do.

5. Revert back to those bad habits you suppress in their presence. A relationship is like a melding of…

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Replacements For The Phrase "I Love You"

by Thought Catalog

Thought Catalog

As we all know, few things have grown more worn down and shoddy with overuse than the words “I love you.” When strung together, you could elicit everything from what a couple says before they slip a ring onto each other’s finger, all the way to a sorority girl’s proclamation to the roommate she’s “married” to on Facebook. The term has lost some meaning. So, though they may be a bit cumbersome, I propose a few new terms that more succinctly get to the heart of the matter. This, my friends, is true love.

“I would pick you up at the airport at 7 AM, not even the airport that’s closest to me — the one you have to take 1-95 to get to. I’d go there even if there wasn’t a McDonald’s on the way to get some hash browns and McMuffins. I would settle for gas station breakfast…

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On Long Distance Relationships And Temporary Insanity

by Thought Catalog

Thought Catalog

If Venus had a telephone, I would leave cranky messages. If Aphrodite had email I would flame her. And if Cupid, god damn him, had a mailbox, I would stuff postcards with letter bombs attached in it. All of them would say the same thing: What is this? What have you done to me?

I did not ask for this. I never wanted this. There are thousands of people who do, people who lift their faces to the sky, rip open their shirts and say: Go ahead. Shoot me.

I kept my head down. I said: stay the f-ck away from me. I spent years teaching myself to exist in solitude and in that time I reached a peace. If I was not happy, I was not unhappy either, and there is a lot to be said for that mindless stability.

But one day he sat next to me…

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Long-Distance Relationships Mean Always Getting to Say Hello

by Thought Catalog

Thought Catalog

We’ve said goodbye in driveways, bus stations, and airports, in parking lots and on street corners. Long distance relationships mean always having to say goodbye.

I remember the end of the first visit: I watched her walk down the sidewalk as the bus pulled out of the station, yanking me from her receding figure. As the countdown to our next reunion was reset to a dauntingly high number, the emotion was so raw, so overwhelming, that it seems impossible to describe without clichés or platitudes. Suddenly every mawkish pop song made sense – it makes you want to write bad poetry.

It’s not as devastating after almost three years, which I attribute to comfort rather than any abatement of emotion. At the beginning, I was like a baby who mistook someone leaving my field of vision for ceasing to exist. I had suffered a few bad experiences in the past…

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50 Life Changing Truths Worth Reminding Yourself Of Each Day

by Thought Catalog

I hope i make a note to come back to this as much as i can

Thought Catalog

1. You only lose what you cling to.

2. You cannot lose what is not yours.

3. You have everything you need to be happy.

4. A happy life does not require much at all.

5. If you carry the bricks of your past with you, you will build the same house.

6. The things that are in your life you have created and attracted. To change your life, choose to change.

7. You do not have forever to be who you are right now.

8. Not getting what you want is sometimes the best thing that could happen.

9. There are far better things ahead than any we leave behind.

10. Stop leaving and you will arrive. Stop searching and you will see. Stop running away and you will be found.

11. It is always darkest before the dawn.

12. When things least seem like they’re going to change…

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